My BLESS List & Conversation Guide

Pray for people you already know, and look for ways to love them well. Start with three names.

Five BLESS practices

• Begin with prayer. Pray for them by name, and for an opportunity to love them.
• Listen. Ask a question and give time for the answer. Learn what matters to them.
• Eat. Share a meal or coffee. Jesus did a lot of His ministry around a table.
• Serve. Ask what would help, then offer a practical response.
• Story. When the door opens, share your story and Jesus’ story, and invite a response.

Conversation tools from Kent Mathews’ training

• One question that works almost anywhere: “How’s your day going so far?” If it’s good: “What’s good about it?” If it’s hard: “I’m sorry. What would make it better?”
• Listen, validate, clarify. Listen without planning your reply. Show you understand before you respond. Ask, “Am I hearing you right?”
• Uncover their story before telling yours. Ask about what they believe and why. People often need to hear themselves say it.
• Gentle bridges. “Has that made you think about the bigger questions?” “Do you have any kind of faith background?” “Would it be okay if I prayed for that?”
• When you don’t know the answer, say so: “I don’t know. Let me look into it. Could we talk again?”
• Remember the garden. Tilling, planting, watering, harvesting. You only need to be faithful in the stage in front of you. God gives the growth (1 Corinthians 3:6).

Words I could use

• “Would it be helpful if I prayed for that?”
• “Would you like to hear why Jesus gives me hope?”
• “Would you be interested in reading a short part of the Bible together?”